Hey! I have not posted in a while.. haha.. a few years! But I really wanted to challenge myself to get back into writing – especially in cases where it can help others. Before I continued with posting the rest of my old videos, I wanted to first make this post. I quite possibly have BPD, it’s not a “for sure” thing yet but … very likely. So, I wanted to address how I could fight some of these negative core beliefs with scripture. I will be writing these things referencing another website, which I will post a link at the end to. I have just basically made a lengthy website read more short, because… ADHD am I right? 🙂 I’ve also added some of my own thoughts. Anyway, let’s dive right in.
1. All or Nothing Thinking
This can vary from lofty standards and fear, to shame… weighing you down. Man, those are heavy sometimes. Okay, a lot of the time.
“In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good.” – Ecclesiastes 11:6
We should not try to anticipate the outcomes of our actions, but look to glorify God instead; through productive and meaningful activity, trusting the final results to God. It’s really hard for me personally not to get ahead of myself, or doubt my abilities before I even attempt to do something. It can get really discouraging. But now, now that I am aware of this type of thinking and that I do have this type of thinking, I can alter how I perceive things or change how I react to things. I also can feel secure that at the end of the day, God is in charge of the final results.
“neither he who plants nor he waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth”
– 1 Corinthians 3:7
2. Mental Filter
This sort of thinking pays attention to only certain things. When you think something like, “I always let people down” or “he never listens to me!” …it’s likely you’re filtering out the evidence that doesn’t support that one-dimensional storyline. This can be an issue when developing inaccurate core beliefs about ourselves, others, or life. As we all know, life isn’t one dimensional. There’s not just one storyline. There’s not just one version of a story.
“Test everything, hold onto what is good.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:21
Though it is short, I love this verse. It’s very powerful for me personally. Through everything, I need to hold onto what is good. Let me repeat myself for my own purposes: I need to hold onto what is good. It is incredibly easy to get bogged down and stuck when you can’t see the good… or don’t want or try to. Maybe you see the good and the bad, but don’t reach out for the good… like you’ve given up. I have been there, believe me. It’s not a good place to be. However, there is hope! The antidote to this is to be open-minded, to postpone judgement, and to be interested in learning balanced information before concluding. This takes patience and humility, both are fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5). I personally also think this takes a sprinkle of self-compassion.
3. Mind Reading
This causes us to imagine that we know what other people are thinking or feeling. (I feel this all the time. Anyone else?) It often leads to fear and anxiety about perceived judgements/ rejection by others. Once you guess what someone else is thinking, you quickly react to the thoughts you’ve projected on them. You may feel unnecessarily hurt or offended. This reminds me of a Kati Morton video I watched regarding BPD. If you don’t know who she is, please look her up and follow her on YouTube. She has all kinds of psychology related videos, as she is a therapist herself. Anyway, in one of her videos she referred to BPD (just as an example) as being like an emotional burn victim. If you’ve ever been burned, you know how sensitive any slight touch is to that burn and how painful it is. Mind reading sends us into being emotionally sensitive, due to our minds already “knowing” what someone is thinking, and not only that, but taking it a step further and making judgements or starting up conversations in your head that you’d want to say.
“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.” -Proverbs 14:10
The antidote here is straight forward: The only thoughts and emotions you have access to are your own. Read that again if necessary! I did! You can either ask another person to share honestly what they’re thinking/feeling, or accept that you don’t need to know because it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Ultimately, remember that what God thinks of you is what matters. The Bible says that He delights in you! (Psalm 18:19)
4. Fortune Telling
This imagines that you can predict what happens in the future. I mean, who can do that? That’s So Raven?! Just kidding. Man, I am dating myself with that one, haha. Once you believe you know what’s coming, you’ll naturally react to that reality. It’s problematic because we tend to predict negative outcomes, which often holds us back. We have to realize the limitations of our perspective, and trust in God. I mean, if I told myself, “I am going to die in surgery!”… do you think that I would have the surgery?! No! I mean, being real though if it was a life threatening situation I would not oppose. But do you get what I am saying? I am going to repeat this again – We have to realize the limitations of our perspective, and trust in God.
“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, and make a profit.’ You do not even know what will happen tomorrow! What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.’ ” – James 4:13-15
Our God is all powerful and all knowing. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. You can rest assured, reader… whoever you are… that God will be with you in every moment. Trust Him.
5. Disqualifying the Positive
This type of thinking specifically discounts positive examples/ information in favor of negative ideas/ perspectives. It minimizes the positive while zooming in on the negative and gazing at it with a magnifying glass, making it the most important. I am not going to lie to you, I have done/still do this… and it is very hard to adjust this type of thinking. However, I am a work in progress. I do trust that God will provide me with what I need to fight this. When you have been in such a bad, toxic place in life… for such an extended period of time, it’s difficult to see the positive in anything. That has at least been my experience. Feel free to share your experiences as well, if you feel comfortable or compelled to.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” – Philippians 4:8
You aren’t going to be able to choose all your thoughts. I can attest to that. But, we can choose what we want to intentionally think about, right? Just as an example, I was driving to the hospital the other day to get some of my records, and something caught my attention (no idea what it was) and a bad memory popped up in my head. Luckily, I recalled a technique my amazing therapist said about letting memories or thoughts pass like a leaf, moving down a stream of water… you see it come in, and you just notice it passing, and then it goes away. In that moment, I could have intentionally thought about all the feelings and the hurt and everything that went along with that memory and get stuck there (with anxiety and depression to follow immediately), or I could notice it, let it pass, and think about other things that would not cause me to dissociate and be stuck in the depression cycle again. Intentionally choosing what we want to think about can help your overall attitude and perspective. Give it a go. I dare ya. 🙂
If you have made it this far, thank you for reading and I sincerely hope someone or some people will find this entry as helpful as I found it. You can read the website post I referenced if you’d like to read her details about these topics here. You can also sign up for e-mail alerts for when I post a new blog, and follow me on social media. I’d love to make new friends! In the meantime, take care of yourselves and have faith.
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